A Dangerous Combo! Pez and Beer!
by Yami no Kaiba
Summary: What happens when Vegeta gets his hands on 100 pure alcohol and pez? Will Barney, Pokemon, and the Teletubies survive the wrath of an insane, drunk Vegeta? Final Chapter Up! And why did I ask if they'll survive when I know the answer?
1. Chapter 1 - The Consumption

A Dangerous Combo! Pez and Beer!  
Chapter 1 - The Consumption  
By: Emerald Star  
  
What possessed me to write this? I have no idea... Well, If you want to know where the Pez part came from, read Pam 'Spam Sawyer's "Pez Super-Nova" fan fiction.  
  
Vegeta was walking around the Capsule Corp. building after he had finished his training for the day in the gravity room. Walking past the door to the onna's lab, he paused and looked back in. The onna had left the room earlier because she had the setup for the fractional distillation project she was doing done and had stayed only long enough to see that it was going.  
  
Vegeta walked over to the setup and watched as a brown liquid bubbled from the flask marked hydrogen peroxide and traveled its way up the tube attached to it in a gas form. As Vegeta watched, the liquid stopped rolling down the tube into the collection beaker marked access. A timer went off somewhere in the lab room, making Vegeta start a little. The heat turned off and the liquid stopped bubbling, now a clear liquid.  
  
Taking off his gloves and setting them on the table, he picks up the lab notes to the side. Vegeta looked through the lab, checking it out. He paused and got a wicked look in his eyes. Taking the flask marked hydrogen peroxide from the setup, Vegeta poured the clear liquid into a purple sports bottle from the side table and put the flask back with enough liquid left for the onna to finish her experiments. Screwing on the cap, he left the lab with a full bottle of 100% drinkable alcohol.  
  
*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---  
  
It was an hour later when Bulma was checking her experiment. As she rechecked her data, she noticed she should have had more alcohol than she had...  
  
She noticed then the white gloves on the table.  
  
[Vegeta-san!]  
  
Bulma ran out of the lab, white gloves in hand. [Why, when I get my hands on that piece of shit! He's sleeping on the couch for a week! No, two weeks!] She entered the kitchen to a most unusual site...  
  
Bulma paused at the threshold to see Vegeta going at a box of ice cream without a care in the world as to who could see him. He had a spoon out and was digging away so fast, it was incredible that he didn't have a brain freeze yet. Trunks was sitting there to the side, rooting him on. There were three empty cartons of ice cream on the floor and a purple sports bottle there too. There was a deep red flush on Vegeta's cheeks and across the bridge of his nose. His eyes were slightly hazy as well.  
  
"Vegeta! What are you doing?!" Needless to say, Bulma was confused.  
  
Vegeta had the spoon stuck in his mouth as he looked up at Bulma with those relaxed, hazy eyes of his. He took it out and looked up at her with a genuine smile. "What's up, Bulma? I was just winning my bet with Trunks here. Give me a sec, would ya?" With that, Vegeta was back at the ice cream, finishing it off at a surprising rate. "Done, now pay up, kid."  
  
"Cool! You didn't even get one brain freeze!" With that, Trunks took out a single and gave it to Vegeta. Vegeta was smiling kindly the whole time, putting Bulma on edge a bit.  
  
"Uh, Vegeta? What did you do with the alcohol from my lab?" Bulma walked over and put a hand on Vegeta's shoulder.  
  
"Hmmm? Oh, I put it in that bottle there, Bulma-san," Vegeta said, pointing a finger at the purple sports bottle on the floor. He got up gracefully from the chair and left the room as Bulma bent down to the purple sports bottle. Unscrewing the cap and glancing inside, she notices it's empty. [Oh, Kami! No, he couldn't have drunk ALL of the pure alcohol, could he?!] Her practical side comes out, [Oh, yes he would, especially when he thinks his Saiyan metabolism is so good...]  
  
[Oh, crap!] Bulma rushed to follow Vegeta into the living room. At the door, she cried out in fright. Trunks had left his Pez dispenser on the coffee table and Vegeta was downing the little pill candies like there was no tomorrow. Which, after seeing this, Bulma had the feeling that there wouldn't be... "Vegeta! Stop!"  
  
Vegeta put the Pez down and looked over at Bulma. "Okay, Bulma-san." That's when things started going downhill. Vegeta's hazy coal black eyes got a weird ring of red around them and Vegeta started jumping up and down in one spot. The reinforced structure of the compound started to groan under the strain. Vegeta was giggling insanely and threw a small ki-blast at the roof. It exploded and threw shrapnel everywhere, terrifying Bulma-san. As she crouched down and protected her head, Vegeta was off, flying through the roof to only Kami-knew-where, laughing and giggling along the way.  
  
Shakily Bulma stood and looked up. [I should go tell the guys what happened...]  
  
*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---  
  
Tune in tomorrow when Vegeta goes after TV stations he's been forced to watch by Trunks! Will Trunks ever see his favorite Pokemon, purple dinosaur, and gay foursome ever again?! And what happens to the live audiences? Will the pez be affected by the alcohol? Will the Earth survive when Vegeta gets mad? Am I spelling Vegeta's name wrong?! Am I being an ass by making Vegeta out of character?! Will Vegeta ever find my secret writing base?! Find out later! Ja ne!  



	2. Chapter 2 - The Death of the Purple Abom...

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, Barney, Teletubies, or Pokemon. Although, I wish some of the DBZ characters were real and that some of them weren't...  
  
Author's Notes: To give this a bit more humor, I'm having the real Vegeta read the story at the end of each chapter. Will he want to come and pound the shit out of me or will he want to thank me? Does he even care anymore after being bashed by people like Prince Vegeta and Princess Bra? Well, I'll string you along!  
  
A Dangerous Combo! Pez and Beer!  
Chapter 2 - The Death of the Purple Abomination!  
By: Emerald Star  
  
Vegeta was flying around, his mind buzzed by the pez and beer he had consumed only fifteen minutes ago. He was still thinking slightly and his mind told him that Bulma would be notifying the other Z senshi about his apparent craziness and that if he didn't want them spoiling his fun, he should mask his ki. So he was masking it well flying around and blowing up any white car that he sighted because he hated the color.  
  
He paused and floated down to the ground, looking in the window of an appliance store, watching with growing agitation what was being displayed on the TV's. It was that purple dinosaur crap that Trunks always made him watch. His eyes widen as his not right mind comes up with a brilliant idea. Throwing his head back, Vegeta laughs hysterically, making the pedestrians look at him funny. He stops suddenly and throws a small ki blast at the store before he lifts off the ground and flies off towards the original broadcast building for the network.  
  
*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---  
  
Well this was happening, Trunks was at home, watching, you guessed it, Barney. It was the end of the live show and the purple freak was singing that annoying song of his, Trunks was singing along, when there was a large explosion from the set that kicked up a lot of dust and debris from the back wall that had just been blown to pieces. Trunks watched in wonder as a short, tall haired figure covered in shadows walked into the set. As the lighting settled on the figure it was revealed to be, you guessed it (and if you didn't your one dumb person) , Trunks' father, all powerful, high and mighty, gets his ass kicked by Goku every other day, the arrogant bastard we all know and love, Saiya-jin Prince Vegeta!  
  
"MOM! Dad's on the TV!" Bulma rushed into the room, her cell phone in her hand, glancing and staring wildly at the TV. Bringing the cell phone up to her ear she shouts, "GOKU! He's at the broadcasting building!"  
  
*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---  
  
Back at the studio, Vegeta was standing there, laughing, his head thrown back. Barney was looking at him and sweat dropping. The live audience of kids that had panicked when the wall had blown were looking at him strangely in confusion, the younger ones sobbing slightly.  
  
"So, uh, what's your name, friend?" Barney asked after some encouragement from the director.  
  
Vegeta was still laughing hysterically for another few minutes before he stopped suddenly. Staring with his red ringed hazy black eyes at the purple freak, he brought up his hand that was crackling with energy. "I'm the Saiya-jin Prince Vegeta!"  
  
"Uh, umm, Vegeta, why don't you put your hand down and we become friends, eh?" Barney was backing up slightly as he said this in a choked voice.  
  
A glint came into Vegeta's eyes as he started slowly to walk towards the purple freak. "Hmm... How 'bout not and saying we did?"  
  
"Great! 'Cause I love you, you love me, we're a happy family!"  
  
Vegeta cringed physically as he heard Barney start singing. "SHUT UP YOU FREEZA WANNA-BE!" Vegeta went SSJ and brought his hand forward, throwing a ki-blast at the still singing thing. Barney blew into pieces, sending Barney parts and chunks into the audience of children that started to cry and wail. The cacophony made Vegeta even more agitated, and turning towards them, he held out his hand and cried, "BIG BANG ATTACK!"  
  
*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---  
  
real DBZ world  
  
Vegeta's reading the story the bakayarou Emerald Star had written and was scowling darkly. Why did he let these fan fic writers do things like this to him? Yea, they were always threatening to do even more terrible things to him, but they were humiliating him! And were did this bakayarou ever come up with the assumption that he hated white?  
  
[Well,] Vegeta resolved to himself, [I'll just have to make an 'example' of some one.] Vegeta smiled wickedly to himself as he flash-fries the print out in his hand by raising his ki. [And I know just who to start with...]  
  
*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---  
  
Do the kids live? Does Vegeta laugh anymore? Which TV victim is next? Does Vegeta come to kill me? Find some of these answers out next time!  



	3. Chapter 3 - Death of the Yellow Rat!

Authors Notes: Well, that last review from Meowy has me kind of depressed, but then again, I think I had it coming to me. After all, I never said anything about no flaming, did I? Anyway, yes, these chapters are written in fifteen to thirty minutes, cause, well, I just got tired of writing my other fics and wanted to write something kinda funny with no plot to it that was short... Isn't working out right, is it? Plus, writing chapters in fifteen to thirty minutes allows me to get a chapter out every day instead of writing and posting every week like my other fics. Maybe I should write something morbid right now... Yea, I'll go do that. Know just which fic to work on, been planning this chapter for the last week... *Switches stories.* *Comes back later.* Well, I'm feeling better now! So, on with a hopefully funnier story!  
  
A Dangerous Combo! Pez and Beer!  
Chapter 3 - Death of the Yellow Rat!  
By: Emerald Star  
  
Vegeta aims at the live audience. "BIG BANG ATTACK!"  
  
"MAKENSAPPO!" The yellowish orange of Piccolo's trade mark ki-blast blocked and pushed Vegeta's blast into the outer side wall with windows and through the outside air into the Ford building across the street, blowing the top off and killing at least a hundred high ranking employees (OK, so maybe I'm not off the depression kick...).  
  
Laughing a little insanely, Vegeta runs through the burned whole in the wall and starts falling down towards the concrete below. Propelling himself forward with his ki, he busts through a glass window into another set of the broadcasting company. Doing a forward summersault, he ends it standing up and in front of another camera crew with out (kind of thankfully, 'cause this time I'd probably blow them up, feeling as down as I am) a live audience. The set was some creepy bad animation that only takes about ten minutes to draw and five to color in.  
  
Two weird people in shirts that had a big red letter 'R' in the center were currently on the set with a pokeball each in their hands. Across from them was a kid that kind of resembled a young version of Son-kun with his black hair sticking out from under his cap with a young carrot haired girl and some darker skinned guy with perpetual lines for eyes (I swear! Every episode my cousin makes me watch when I'm babysitting always has this guy with lines for eyes! You never EVER see his eyes! Hmm...wonder if Krillen knows him, considering Krillen doesn't have a nose...). With them was a small yellow creature that Vegeta's not right mind supplied a name for, although it slipped when it came to trying to remember the human's names.  
  
He smirked coldly at the now staring people. "So this is that stupid show the brat likes, what's its name, Pokemon?" Vegeta starts to stare at Pikachu. He blinks and rubs his eyes. To him, Pikachu is no longer the small little yellow rat thing that it is, but has been transformed by his drugged mind into a steaming basted chicken! A loud rumble escapes from Vegeta's stomach and a glazed look crosses his eyes. "Hmmm...Chicken!" Vegeta lunges at Pikachu, who squeaks a little and hides behind the Goku look-a-like. Vegeta pauses as he looks the kid up and down. His eyes lose the glazed look but are still kinda hazy. "So, you finally showed up, Kakaroto. About time, you third-class Baka! For making me wait for this sparing session, I'm not going to give you any mercy!" With that, Vegeta rushes over to the kid and punches him in the stomach, sending him flying to be imbedded in the background set behind him. Vegeta follows and as the black haired kid stands up, does a round house kick to his head, taking it off the kids shoulders.  
  
Vegeta stands over the decapitated body for a moment of silence. Then he throws back his head and laughs insanely. "Yess!! I finally beat you, Kakaroto!" He starts dancing around in one place in a victory dance. The other people panic and run out of the room to save their pathetic existences. Pikachu comes up and shakes the kids body in a vain attempt to 'wake him up'. Pikachu gets angry when it's pathetically small brain finally realizes that the boys dead and throws a lightning shock at Vegeta. Vegeta's not affected, but he does stop dancing and looks at Pikachu with his red ringed hazy black eyes hungrily. Vegeta crouches down and starts stalking Pikachu well saying, "Here, chiki, chiki, chiki!"  
  
Vegeta lunges at Pikachu, but the rat leaps away nimbly. Enraged and feeling in the back of his mind the approaching ki's of the Z senshi, Vegeta throws a weak ki-blast at the stupid moving 'chicken'. Pikachu becomes one extra crispy critter and Vegeta runs over to eat the thing. Just as he finishes stripping the meat off the last bone, Gohan enters the room through the window Vegeta had broken through. Dropping the bone and gulping down the last morsel, he looks Gohan straight in the face and smiles like Son-kun.  
  
Vegeta makes a rush at Gohan but then veers towards the camera set after Gohan gets his hands up to block. Picking up the camera and all the equipment in the general vicinity, he flings them at the Demi Saiya-jin. After blocking all the equipment, Gohan blinks. Vegeta was no where in sight.  
  
*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---  
  
Real DBZ World  
  
Vegeta looked down at the print out in his hands and smirked. He had gotten his purple haired brat to hack into the FanFiction.Net files and get the information on the bakayarou Emerald Star. (Author Notes: If you've been wondering why it's so hard to get on lately, well, now you know why!)  
  
For a moment Vegeta frowned. However, it had taken time, time the girl had used and posted another chapter of that foolish fiction of hers. Him, being stopped by that Nameck?! Running around and demeaning himself by acting like Kakaroto? She would definitely be getting a one way ticket to hell now.  
  
Vegeta smiled to himself wickedly as he looked up at the streaks of white that flew past. [Oh, and I'll be enjoying this torture all to soon...] With that thought running through his head with other thoughts accompanying them, Vegeta increased his speed as he headed half-way across the globe.  
  
*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---  
  
Where'd Vegeta go? Will Gohan catch up in time to stop him from killing any other people? And what will the real Vegeta do when he gets to his destination? Will he find a Super Saiya-jin (referring to the character from 'Alternate Cell Game') or an ordinary girl? Why did I ask the first two questions?! Tune in in two days for the long final chapter that will hopefully make up for the shortness of this one!  
  
And please, please review! Even if it is a flame! Oh, and thanks to Meowy! Thanks to the way she made me feel, I've been able to get a really good chapter together for 'Alternate Cell Game', though it won't be coming out for a few weeks. Got to get the chapter's leading up to it written and out (*grumbles to self* meaning I'll have to wait awhile to get in the right mood to write the upbeat piece of...)!  
  
And special thanks to the people that have reviewed and made me feel good. Those would be Larania, Kichi, Princess Vegeta, Fanboyimus Prime, Jesika Starwatcher, Kitty, Vegeta's Little Girl, and Son Gohan! Thanks to you, I've decided to finish this thing! Also to the about 215 of you that have hit this story but haven't said anything, thanks for your silent support!  
  
--Emerald Star  



	4. Chapter 4 - The Total Destruction of the...

Author Notes: This is a bit late due to me being bossed around by my mom to do house work. Gomen, now on to the story!  
  
Disclaimer: I own all anime!! Mwaahhhahahaha!! *Gets pummeled by anime writers.* *Comes out of cartoon cloud looking worse for wear.* Okay, I don't own any anime, though I wish to the highest deity that I did. Then I wouldn't have to worry about College, ne?  
  
A Dangerous Combo! Pez and Beer!  
Chapter 4 - The Total Destruction of the Teletubies!  
By: Emerald Star  
  
Gohan waited for the other Z senshi to come to were he had last seen Vegeta. Now that we got that out of the way, onto the high Saiya-jin!  
  
Now, as for Vegeta, he left through the open door right after he threw all the equipment at Gohan. Zooming down the corridors at break neck speed for a human, but pretty average for a Saiya-jin, he left a calamity of studio workers on their butts since he knocked them over. I mean, papers are flying everywhere, people are screaming, and some women have their skirts flying up (Because of the draft! Now stop drooling, you Hentai!).  
  
Vegeta was now in the stair well, going up numerous stairs, because the alcohol in his system was effecting the pez just enough to let him still think coherently, if not a little rationally (Basically he's at the same mental capacity as Goku when Goku was a kid, ok?). His muddled brain said that if he wanted to fake out his pursuers, then by going back UP he could do it.  
  
Eventually, Vegeta reached the top floor and ran out of the stair well. He was running down the hall way till he got to a yellow door, opened it, zipped inside, and closed the door. Leaning against it, Vegeta had his ear against the door, trying to hear if there was anyone following.  
  
A gasp from behind made Vegeta whirl around. Vegeta came face to face with another set. Though this one wasn't made by animation, it looked just as crappy as the Pokemon set. "Who the hell are you?!" A guy with a hat on that said 'Director' on it cried out at Vegeta, who was in total darkness.  
  
Vegeta just looked at him with a smirk and started to slowly advance well powering up a ki-blast in his left hand. "I am the Saiya-jin no Ouji-sama, Vegeta." He brought his hand up close to his face, illuminating it in a scary way. "Now, DIE!" He lunged out with his hand in the general direction of the director, letting lose the ki-blast.  
  
After the director ashes settled down, Vegeta got a good look at the other people in the area. There were four really whacked up people in weird different colored outfits on the sets that were balling their eyes out like a bunch of babies. The whining was really getting on Vegeta's nerves. "SHUT UP!"  
  
When this caused the four weirdo's just to cry harder and louder, Vegeta just ground his teeth and brought his arms up and together. "FINAL FLASH!"  
  
Well, there goes the wall, and the rest of the set, too! Not to mention the ashes of the four babies! Vegeta grins and flies out the now open wall, not bothering to check his power level anymore. He left the city with the Z senshi in fast pursuit. A sudden dizzy spell overcame Vegeta and he blacked out, plummeting towards the ground. (Does a coin toss.) He hits the ground and makes a Vegeta sized whole, where just moments later, the Z senshi pry him out of and take him back to Capsule Corp.  
  
*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---  
  
At Capsule Corp., Vegeta is laid out on a table in the hospital wing with wires and other thing hooked up to him. Bulma is talking to the Z senshi in an aside room behind some glass. "Well, the pez and the alcohol he ingested seem to have combined to make him go into a coma like state. But don't worry, he'll be fine in a couple of days."  
  
Everyone splits up, and a few days later Vegeta wakes up. He seems fine and his said to be ok by Bulma. Amazingly enough, he has no memory of what he did after he drank the alcohol.  
  
Vegeta walks into the living room to find Trunks playing a game. Looking at the clock, he says to Trunks, "Hey, brat, why aren't you watching that Pokemon crap?"  
  
Trunks' eyes tear up and he runs from the room sobbing. Vegeta just stands there looking perplexed. "Well," he says to himself, "at least I got the TV to myself."  
  
The End!  
  
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Real DBZ World  
  
(Author's Note: Any information about me here is totally made up! After all, I don't want weirdos [not that any of you people are weirdos!] coming to MY house [see, I even live in a house, not an apartment building!].)  
  
Vegeta landed in front of the white apartment building that matched the address. Smirking, he noticed it was dark here in Ohio. Finding out that Emerald lived on the top floor on the left side, he hovered up to the balcony on that side and landed. Blasting the lock on the glass door with a teeny tiny ki-blast, he slid the door to the side. Walking in to the living room of the apartment he noticed an eerie glow coming from the hallway to his left. Following it he came to a door where he heard the muffled sound of a clackity clack of a keyboard. Pushing the door open a crack, he peeked inside.  
  
Sitting on a wheely chair slightly to the side to let her tail hang out from in between the back support and the seat, was a Saiya-jin female typing away at the keyboard in front of a computer with her back turned away from the door. There was a bag of chips laid out on the desk with a bowl of ice cream next to it. With a sigh she stopped and reached out to the mouse next to her on a pull out table.  
  
Having seen enough, Vegeta pushed the door open non-to-gently. It made a banging noise against the wall, causing some plaster to fall from the ceiling.  
  
Startled, Emerald Star wheeled around and sighted the pissed off Saiya-jin no Ouji. "What do you want?"  
  
"To kill you!" With that, the Saiya-jin no Ouji threw a small ki-blast at her, which she deflected out the window to blow up the wall of the apartment building across the street. The couple that had been doing IT over there just kept on doing IT not even noticing the draft. Vegeta and Emerald Star sweat dropped as they watched for a few minutes. Then they turn away, Emerald Star blushing very much well the Vegeta just coughed a bit.  
  
Any who, Emerald Star faced back to her computer and clicked with her mouse a dozen times before Vegeta could stop her. "Well, there! No matter what you do to me in this world, Fanfiction.Net already has the final chapter uploaded!"  
  
"What?! Nooo!" Vegeta rushes to the screen, pushing Emerald Star out of the way and reading the short chapter to himself. "Hehe, I get the TV," Vegeta snaps out of it and turns around towards Emerald Star. "But that doesn't make up for you humiliating the Saiya-jin no Ouji!"  
  
"Ahh, come on! Now you don't have to watch any of that kiddy crap anymore in my fic's!" [Even though Trunks now has to go to therapy sessions... And guess just who Bulma's gonna make take him. ^_^] "Plus I could've had you puke after you ate that rat, you know!"  
  
Vegeta was advancing and Emerald Star was being backed into a corner. "Umm... Ok! How bout this, in the sequel I have you give Kakaroto some pez and have you tape him! How bout that?!"  
  
Vegeta paused and thought about it. "Hmmm... Yes! I like that! Alright, I'll let you live, but you better have that sequel out by the end of March! And spell my name right already! It's V-E-J-I-T-A!"  
  
"Yes, yes! I'll have it out by then!" With that she waves and hits a button on her watch and disappears. (Author's Note: I went back to the Real World.)  
  
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Well, that's it till the sequel! It's gonna be called, "Vejita's Prank! Goku's Pez Problem!" Have fun! And please review! I have NO idea what I should make Goku do, and I need some help! Other wise Vejita's gonna kill me!  
  
Oh, and if your looking for more DBZ stuff done by me, read "Alternate Cell Games" which will be up with four chapters this Wednesday in the Dragon Ball Z section. Right now its in the Dragon Ball Z/Sailor Moon section cause it has one character that I created from Sailor Moon, but after careful reevaluation, I found out that you don't even need to know what Sailor Moon is to understand what's going on, but you DO need to know about Dragon Ball Z. (Plus I'm hoping for more reviews from this switch.)  
  
Bye-bye!  
  
--Emerald Star ^_^  



End file.
